


Eat Your Vegetables

by TheRedheadinQuestion



Series: VegLock [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Food Sex, Humor, M/M, bottomjohn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 20:06:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1482265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedheadinQuestion/pseuds/TheRedheadinQuestion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Eat your Vegetables" began as a one-shot, but kept growing in my head and eventually sprouted a four-part series.  Let the evilness commence...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eat Your Vegetables

"Sherlock, I'm running to the shops.  Try not to blow anything up." John made sure he had wallet and keys, then headed down the stairs.  As he reached the bottom, footsteps pounded behind, following him.

"I think I'll join you."  Sherlock said as he fastened his scarf.  John stared at his boyfriend.

"You."  he said in disbelief.  "Willingly in Tesco?"

Sherlock's eyes narrowed.  "Problem?"

John paused for a moment.  Was Sherlock trying to make up for some hideous experiment he didn't know about?  Or was he actually being considerate?  In any event, he really should encourage his boyfriend to take on more of the household chores.  John held the door open.  "Not at all. Come on then."

Sherlock flipped up his coat collar, threw John a half smile and stepped into the sun.  He lifted his arm and as usual, a taxi magically appeared.

At Tesco, John grabbed a trolley and headed down the nearest aisle.  Sherlock made a sharp left and hurried away.  John rolled his eyes and followed. When he caught up with Sherlock, he was studying a carrot in the produce aisle.

"What do you think of this?" He asked.

"Healthy?  Good in a stew?"  John said.  It must be part of another strange experiment.  Or maybe a case.

" _No_."  Sherlock shook his head and held the vegetable towards the doctor.  "Is it thick enough?  Too long?"

"For what?  Sherlock, I'm an idiot, remember?  Stop being cryptic."

Sherlock tilted his head and sighed.  "John. Did you or did you not agree to experiment with toys?"

John's eyes grew wide.  "You...you mean.   _Veg_?" His mouth felt dry and he swallowed uncomfortably.  Yes, he vaguely recalled saying that.  But at the time they were naked and Sherlock's tongue was buried in his arse.  He would've agreed to sell his sister, just as long as that lovely, exquisite tongue never stopped. 

"Obviously."  Sherlock rolled his eyes and motioned to the carrot.  "Once again, your thoughts on length?  Girth?"

"I...uhhh..."  John glanced at the woman who stopped near and browsed the bananas.  Once she'd moved on, he stepped close to Sherlock. 

"Now?"  He hissed.  "Do we have to do this here? We're in _Tesco_ , not the bloody sex shop." 

"Come now, John."  The detective lowered his voice into that register that always made John's trousers tighter.  "The other customers have no idea what we're up to.  But if you're feeling a bit shy I could choose on your behalf."  He returned the carrot to its bin, picked up a large aubergine and quirked an eyebrow at John.

"No!"  The doctor closed his eyes. That came out rather higher-pitched than he'd like.  He took a moment to calm himself.  "No," he repeated, this time in a normal tone.  He took the purple vegetable from Sherlock and placed it out of his reach.  He scanned the nearest box, grabbed a much more reasonably-sized courgette and held it out to his boyfriend.

Sherlock took the vegetable and examined it.  "Yes, this will do nicely.  Thick enough to satisfy, but not so large as to cause distress.  Excellent."  He laid it in the trolley and looked back at John.  "Next?"

"More?"  John practically squeaked.  Sherlock slid over to John and stood slightly behind him. 

"John."  he whispered in that delicious voice.  The doctor's eyes fluttered closed.  "Imagine you and I in bed, my fingers lightly exploring your skin..."  Sherlock's lips touched the shell of John's ear and sent shivers down his spine.  "...and slipping in and out of you until you're begging for more.  For something to fill you fully and completely." 

Suddenly, John saw the appeal of this particular section.  He wandered a few bins to the right and sorted through the mallow.  He settled on one that was thick and slightly curved and held it up. 

Sherlock bit his lower lip  and nodded in agreement.  John laid it in the trolley and both men returned to perusing the veg.  Various squash and root vegetables found their way to the growing pile.

"Oh!" Sherlock exclaimed as he dashed to the end of the aisle.  He plucked an ear of sweet corn from the display and presented it to John.  "Ridges," he announced.  John stared at the corn and whimpered a little.  He turned and sorted through the produce with even more gusto. 

He held up a kiwano to Sherlock.  "Here's one for you."  He giggled.

Sherlock grinned back.  "I'd prefer to use it on you...whilst you're tied up and completely at my mercy."

John's trousers shrank even tighter and his breath grew short.  He watched Sherlock grab one more item-- a cucumber, thin on one end but progressively thicker to the other end, which was almost bulb-like.  Sherlock wrapped his long fingers around the vegetable and slowly stroked it.

"Yes," Sherlock said.  "Very nice." 

That did it.  John glanced around to check for customers, then pushed Sherlock against the display.  He slid a hand to the back of Sherlock's neck and pulled that stupidly perfect cupid's bow towards him.  He slid his lips against John's, and they momentarily lost themselves in the passion.

With a groan, John pulled away.  He piled their toy collection into the detective's arms and pushed him towards the checkout.   

"But John," Sherlock chuckled.  "What about the trolley?  And the milk?"

"Later."  John rumbled. 

"It's entirely possible I've created a monster."  Sherlock mused as he was hustled to the front of the store.

 

***

 

Late that afternoon, they stood in the kitchen, freshly showered and in their dressing gowns.  John whistled as he put the kettle on while Sherlock sliced the creatively-used vegetables.  Footsteps on the stairs signaled a visitor.  The detective rolled his eyes and muttered something about a perfectly lovely day ruined.

"Look how domestic you've become, brother mine."  Mycroft said as he appeared in the doorway.  "Doctor Watson must be a good influence on you." 

Sherlock scowled at his brother.  "Don't you have anything better to do?  Skip in a minefield, perhaps?"

"I'm merely here to check on your well being, since you refuse to answer my texts."

John suppressed a snort.  Sherlock had been working the sweetcorn into him when said texts arrived.  Oh, those lovely ridges.  He'd never look at an ear of corn the same way again.

Mycroft reached around Sherlock and nabbed a slice of cucumber from the pile.  John glanced at Sherlock, who merely grinned while the British Government chewed.

"Stay for lunch?"  The detective asked sweetly.   

"I just may.  A salad sounds rather nice."  Mycroft leaned against the counter, picked up a carrot--the one that not two hours before had repeatedly bumped the doctor's prostate--and took a large bite.  John inhaled sharply, then at Sherlock's glare tried to pass it off as a sneeze.

"Are you ill, Doctor Watson?"  Mycroft inquired. 

"No no, I'm fine."  John assured him.  _I can't believe you're eating our sex toys, but whatever._ Good thing they used edible lube.

"I must say, dear brother, it's nice to see you eating your vegetables.  I'm glad you've realized the benefits of such healthful fare."

Sherlock smirked. "You know, I believe we have."


End file.
